Onion City Rumble: Somebody Stole the Puppy
We had a game about rent. Then we asked ourselves a hard question: what if, instead, a puppy? This is the changelog.
The story is all about the puppy now
Slick Vic runs every gang in Onion City. This week he decided every empire needs a mascot, and his mascot should be the cutest puppy in town. So his goons went shopping, right out of Grandma's laundromat, and left a note that just says FINDERS KEEPERS. NO RETURNS.
Rent is no longer due. Rent was never due. We don't know what you're talking about. Your job is to fight through every gang in the city to the cage on top of Vic's tower and bring the puppy home. The ending is a reunion, a bedtime scene and one dog wagging so hard it falls over.
You name everybody
In the grand tradition of games that ask you very personal questions before you're allowed to punch anyone, you now name six things before you start: the kid, his friend, her puppy, your dog, your favorite food and your favorite thing. Can't decide? Hit DON'T CARE and the game picks for you. Everyone uses your names everywhere, including the villain, who is rude about it.
The changelog
Friends & food
- Your dog. Every so often you'll find your scrappy mutt sitting in the street. Walk up and it joins the fight: it follows you, chomps bad guys and takes a few hits for you. When its HP runs out it gets tuckered out and runs home, until the next time you stumble across it.
- Favorite food. Goons now very occasionally drop a steaming plate of whatever you named as your favorite food. It fully heals you, and the game will inform you that you enjoyed eating it. Your dog gets the leftovers.
- Your favorite thing powers your PSI. PSI ROCKIN is now PSI whatever-you-typed. We have seen PSI TACOS. We have no regrets.
New places
- Four new zones, for twenty total: the Sunset Boardwalk (Ferris wheel, ring toss, clowns), The Big Top, Hollow Hill Cemetery (fog, unpaid zombie interns, a friendly ghost) and The Sewers.
- Two mini-bosses: Ringmaster Rico, who sends in the clowns, and the Sewer King, who carries a plunger like a scepter. Beat them for a permanent stat-boosting reward.
- New music for the spooky zones and the carnival.
More Earthbound energy
- EXP and levels, complete with the classic "Your Guts went up by 1!" message box.
- New PSI powers as you level: FIRE burns a line of goons, FREEZE stops one cold, THUNDER is enthusiastic. Press Q to switch.
- The battle swirl. Boss rooms open with a big psychedelic swirl, as is tradition.
- A rolling HP meter. Your HP now shows up as little digit drums that roll as it drains. Big hits still take a moment to count down, so there's time to eat a snack before you hit zero.
- People to talk to. Around fifteen townsfolk, a pay phone where Dad calls with spending money, and red presents to open. Some presents contain a goon. Sorry.
Fighting
- Grab and throw goons. Knock one down, pick them up, and bowl them into their friends.
- Block. Hold L to shrug off hits from the front.
- Bug fix: enemy punches used to quietly break your HP and make you invincible. You are no longer invincible. We apologize to everyone who thought they were simply very good.
- Bug fix: Slick Vic now goes through his three phases in order and his health bar actually shows up.
Everything else
- Saves. The game saves as you go, and the title screen has a Continue option.
- Gamepad support. Plug in a controller and go.
- An art pass. Shaded sprites with softer outlines, rosy cheeks, blinking, hit sparks, afterimages and dust. Everyone looks about 40% more alive.
- The leaderboard still works: finish faster for a higher score.
"I came to Onion City to pay my rent. Then somebody stole a puppy and I forgot about the rent completely." — the same completely made-up resident