Meet Eddie, CEO of Unnatural Synth (Allegedly)
Three video games, one fez, zero idea what the Cloud is. Please welcome our fearless leader.
Every company needs a leader. Some companies get a visionary. Some get a founder in a black turtleneck. Unnatural Synth got Eddie, and frankly we think we came out ahead.
Eddie's official title is Chief Executive Officer. Eddie's preferred title is Grand Poobah. The paperwork has been with legal since Tuesday. Nobody is sure who legal is.
Fast facts
- Previous experience: Worked here once before, from 10/09/1908 to 10/10/1908. Took a short break. Came back.
- Education: A degree in Time and Space from the University of Hard Knocks. This explains the 1908 thing.
- Languages: Speaks Urdu, reads Gaelic, writes Russian. Meeting notes are an adventure.
- Military service: 45 years. Rank: Private. Remarkably consistent.
- Special skills: Making things go BOOM. It's on the resume. It's underlined twice.
- Referred by: Fred Flintstone. We did not check this reference. We were afraid to.
- Work references: Louie, Alex and Elaine from the Cab Company. Louie's reference just said "never again."
A day in the life
- 7:58 AM. Arrives. Transportation status: still pending.
- 8:15 AM. Defeats the printer. PC LOAD LETTER has been dealt with.
- 9:00 AM. Joins the Teams call. Is on mute. Gives the best speech of the year anyway.
- 10:30 AM. Bellows "JAMES!" down the hall. IT arrives. The MFA prompt does not survive the encounter.
- 12:00 PM. Lunch. Fez on.
- 1:00 PM. Strategic planning, which means looking out the window to see what the Joneses across the street bought this week.
- 3:00 PM. Sends a fax. To whom, we will never know.
- 4:59 PM. Declares the day "synergistic." Leaves.
Leadership philosophy
Eddie runs Unnatural Synth on three core principles: print it out, say "synergy" like you mean it, and when all else fails, bellow for James.
"If it can't be fixed with a smack on the side, it's an IT problem." — Eddie, probably
Critics have called this approach "outdated." Those critics are the Joneses, and the Joneses just switched to flip phones, so Eddie is technically ahead of the trend.
Ask Eddie
Is Eddie relevant? Eddie defeated the Cloud in single combat. Draw your own conclusions.
What's with the fez? Ask Brother Ralph. Brother Ralph is waiting at the Lodge Hall. Brother Ralph is always waiting at the Lodge Hall.
Can I book a meeting with Eddie? Absolutely. Please send a fax.
Play as Eddie
Eddie is the only CEO we know of with a whole game series, and Eddie would like you to know that.
- Eddie and the Quest to Be Relevant: an RPG battle against printers, MFA, Teams calls, an AI chatbot and the Cloud itself.
- The Grand Poobah job interview: answer eleven questions exactly the way Eddie would.
- Grand Poobah of the Cab Company: drive the cab, wear the fez, and please, someone pick up Brother Ralph.
Welcome aboard, Eddie. Or welcome back. It's been a while since 1908.